I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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