You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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