Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
third nipple confirmed
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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