end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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