Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
