wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I fill condoms, not promises.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
