mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
