I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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