whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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