you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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