dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
