Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
