just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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