My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
