Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
now i know why i became what i already was.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize