38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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