is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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