WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
