About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
