Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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