i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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