she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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