Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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