True but thats because hes a fetus.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Randomize
