Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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