she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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