she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
