Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Congratulations! We have a period
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
