I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
