you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
