I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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