I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I stole a fireplace last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
