apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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