why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
