And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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