i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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