Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think i have two assholes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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