Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize