He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
