Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I enjoy the company of your penis
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
