i just google imaged poop.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
