Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
