Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
