You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
