It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
