You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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