What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
