Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
