You can't special order awesome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize