Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
