now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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