apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
