also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
