i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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