I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
