i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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