my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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