Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
