Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
