I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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