Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
