at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
