I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
