Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
