Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
